Can You Think Yourself Happy?

We know that the mind is a powerful thing. It is widely believed that we can use our thoughts to manifest.

Is it therefore possible to think yourself happy?

The present moment is all you ever have.

Eckhart Tolle

Are any thoughts outside of the present moment damaging to our happiness?

Be More Dog

When I look at my dog, I see a happy simple creature that doesn’t have the ability to think beyond the present moment.

I’ve often envied that about her. With the lack of worry or stress in her mind, she reacts purely to what is happening in the present moment. All thoughts of an event have disappeared moments after it has happened because her mind is solely focused on the current event.

I can clearly see the benefit of this. ‘Be more dog’ is a regular expression of mine.

Is it possible for humans to be the same way?

People like Eckhart Tolle seem to be living in a similar way. How much ‘training’ does it take to turn our brains off? And do we really want to?

It does seem that the more you use your brain, the unhappier you are.

One of the world’s finest minds, Albert Einstein, once said “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.”

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

This is also the title of a book by Joseph Nguyen.

A book I read two years ago but still often think about, and refer to.

It encourages us to recoginse our thought patterns and call them into question.

Challenging Your Thoughts

Allow me to share with you the processes I use. I have learned these over the course of some years from books such as the one mentioned above.

I’ll begin with an example;

It’s a Sunday Evening, you’re sitting on the sofa watching a movie before bed, you’ve just had a brilliant weekend that went in a flash and you’re not looking forward to a work meeting you have first thing Monday.

This is making you feel sad that the weekend is over, and anxious thinking about the meeting tomorrow. You’re not really concentrating on the movie as your mind is on the meeting tomorrow.

Now imagine the same scenario but, it’s a bank holiday and you have another day off tomorrow.

You’re more relaxed and enjoying the movie.

But nothing is different!

Is it not crazy to let our thoughts dictate our enjoyment of something?

When I find myself in a similar situation, I have a process of imagining different circumstances within the moment.

If I am not looking forward to something and find that it affects my mood in the lead-up, I imagine how I would be feeling if the event in question was a holiday instead. How would that change my perception of the present moment?

Then I ask, what really is the difference?

The present moment hasn’t changed, only my perception of it. And guess what?

Perception is something you can control.

1. Identify the Thought

Start by recognising the specific thought or belief that is influencing your perception. This can often be identified by paying attention to moments of stress, anxiety, or discomfort. Write down the thought in detail.

2. Examine the Evidence

Evaluate the evidence for and against the thought. Consider the following:

• Supporting Evidence: What evidence do you have that this thought is true? Be specific and factual.
• Contrary Evidence: What evidence do you have that this thought is not true? Again, focus on specifics and facts.

3. Consider Alternative Perspectives

Think about other possible interpretations or perspectives of the situation. Ask yourself:

• How might someone else view this situation?
• What would I say to a friend who had this thought?
• Is there another way to look at this that I haven’t considered?

4. Evaluate the Thought’s Impact

Assess how this thought affects you:

• Does this thought help or hinder me?
• How does it make me feel?
• How does it influence my behavior?

5. Challenge the Thought

Actively challenge the thought by questioning its validity and usefulness:

• Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?
• Is this an all-or-nothing or black-and-white thought?
• Am I overgeneralising or catastrophising?
• Am I focusing on the negatives and ignoring the positives?

6. Formulate a Balanced Thought

Create a more balanced and rational thought that is based on the evidence you’ve gathered. This new thought should be more realistic and less distorted. For example:

• Original Thought: “I’ll never be good at this.”
• Balanced Thought: “I’m struggling now, but with practice, I can improve.”

7. Practice Mindfulness

Use mindfulness techniques to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. This can include:

• Mindful Breathing: Focus on your breath to anchor yourself in the present moment.
• Observation: Observe your thoughts without judgment, acknowledging them and letting them pass.

Related Post – How To Use Mindfulness When Navigating Difficult Life Issues

8. Take Action

Implement strategies to reinforce the new, balanced thoughts:

• Behavioral Experiments: Test out the new thought by taking small steps and observing the results. For example, if you think, “I can’t speak in public,” start by speaking in small groups and gradually increase the audience size.
• Positive Affirmations: Use affirmations to reinforce positive thoughts and beliefs. This is a powerful way to think yourself happy.

9. Reflect and Adjust

Periodically reflect on your progress and make adjustments as needed:

• Are the new thoughts helping you feel better?
• Are they changing your perceptions and behaviors in a positive way?
• What further adjustments can you make?

By systematically challenging your thoughts, you can gradually shift your perceptions and develop a more positive and realistic mindset. This method will help you think yourself happy and improve your overall well-being.

But Can You Really Think Yourself Happy?

I believe the answer is more complicated than a simple yes.

You can think yourself happy in certain scenarios by re-training the way you think.

However, we are human beings and we have been given these brilliant minds that overthink, and overanalyse for a reason.

We also have to consider the life situations that involve intense suffering such as loss.

During the throws of grief, I believe it is virtually impossible to think yourself happy.

However, even then, I still think the steps laid out above will be beneficial. They may not ‘make you happy’ but they will certainly give you the foundations for mental well-being to build on over time.

“If your mind is completely full of old thinking, it is impossible to have any new thoughts come into your mind to create the change you seek.”

Joseph Nguyen – Don’t Believe Everything You Think